i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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