i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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