I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
