My brain says no but my pants say off.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
