dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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