I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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