so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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