Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
