We're facebook friends in real life
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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