i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
