I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
