No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
