And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
