Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
