4 words: hood of his car
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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