This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
