The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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