She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
