Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
