Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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