she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
