i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
