If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
