I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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