google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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