shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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