trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
