that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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