So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
