dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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