just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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