I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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