drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize