You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
