pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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