Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
