Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
