so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
