but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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