Define "chronic" masturbator.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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