How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
