He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
