I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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