Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
