I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
