i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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