And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
