Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
