Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
