It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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