Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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